Painful Truth
by Klutzygirl33
Summary: Missing scenes for "200". JJ reunites with her family and finally reveals a painful secret to Will.


**I don't own Criminal Minds and never will. No copyright infringement intended.**

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JJ winced when she shifted the wrong way, and impatiently waited for her husband and son. She missed them with all her heart and the thought of them dealing with her death had nearly broken her. Plus, now she realized she had to tell Will the truth. She couldn't keep him in the dark about her miscarriage anymore – he deserved to know what had happened. She beamed when Will and Henry entered the hospital room. "Hi sweetheart! I missed you so much."

Will set Henry down and let their son greet JJ first. He ran to her bed. "Hi, Mommy! Missed you too."

She opened her arms to hug her son, and after a gentle chiding from his father, Henry slowed down and didn't fly into them. He lightly hugged her. "I love you and your daddy."

"I love you too. Don't ever do that again," Will warned as Henry started babbling about spending his day in some strange house.

Her eyes downcast, she nodded. "I don't plan on it, Will, but do you realize how many times this has happened? I think we're all used to it now," JJ joked. When he glared, she realized she had gone too far and apologized. She needed to talk to Will as soon as possible, but didn't want to do it with Henry in the room. He didn't need to hear what was about to be said, plus he was too young to have to deal with the news anyway.

Emily knocked on the door, and she and Hotch stepped in. "We just wanted to see how you're doing," Emily explained. She smiled at the three of them.

"Tired and in pain, but I'll be fine," JJ assured them both. She smiled, but nobody was quite buying it. She had just been tortured and clearly needed some time to deal with it.

"I'll make sure she rests," Will promised. He wasn't about to let her out of his sight for a long time (or until she was cleared to go back to work, anyway). He had been terrified, but had to stay strong for Henry. What would he have done if JJ died? How would have raised their son on his own? It hurt too much to think about. Facing it while she was gone had been bad enough.

"Good luck with that." JJ was glad when everyone – included a confused Henry – cracked up at that.

"We just hope that you don't push yourself too hard." Hotch didn't want her to push herself. She needed recovery time, but JJ was so stubborn that she'd probably work herself to the bone to get back to work early (and it'd most likely be too soon).

And that's when JJ decided she needed to talk to Will. "Henry, why don't you go eat something in the cafeteria with Aunt Emily and Uncle Aaron? I'm sure Aunt Penelope, Uncle Derek, and Uncle Spencer will play with you. I need to talk to Daddy."

"Come on, kiddo. I'll let you eat cake for dinner," Emily promised. She laughed when Henry grabbed her hand and stared imploringly at both her and Hotch.

The three of them walked out of the room and left JJ and Will alone. "Well, we'll have a hyper little one tonight." They both laughed before he sighed in relief and gently kissed her. "You scared the fuck out of me. Please don't leave us."

JJ reached up (she immediately regretted it) and pulled her husband in for a hug. "I'm sorry. But I have something important to tell you that I should have told you before, but I didn't. And you're going to hate me after this, I know it."

He shook his head and then sat down in a chair. "I could never hate you. What is it?"

She looked down and let out a quiet sob. Will instantly panicked, but he waited for JJ to tell him what was wrong. "You remember how we were trying to get pregnant a few years ago?"

He nodded and suddenly didn't want to hear what she had to say next. Will knew this whole situation was bad, but he was determined to stay strong for her. "Yeah. What about it?"

JJ looked up at him, knowing she had to face Will for this. "I found out I was pregnant in Afghanistan. I was so excited. I planned on surprising you when I got home. But a few weeks later, there was an incident. The car I was in got attacked and I was hurt. When I woke up, Cruz told me what had happened. I lost our baby, Will. It's my fault."

Will was shocked (and a little angry she hadn't told him before), but he needed his wife to calm down. "It's not your fault. JJ, stop blaming yourself. Why didn't you tell me before tonight that you miscarried?"

JJ choked back a sob. "Nobody else knew, and I didn't want to hurt you. I was determined to grieve by myself. I met with my OB/GYN when I got back and she told me that I can still get pregnant. So we can try again in the future if we wanted to. But that's why I wanted us to stop trying to conceive. I know you didn't understand why, but I was terrified of having another miscarriage. And getting tortured – I relieved that whole experience again – brought back all that pain. I realized I had to tell you. I couldn't keep this from you anymore. I'm so sorry."

He gently kissed the top of her head. He wasn't angry at all anymore – he understood and told her so. "I wish you had told me before so you didn't have to deal with the grief by yourself, but it's okay. You've told me now. And I don't hate you. And we'll definitely try again when you're ready. But you need to heal first because you clearly haven't. That's our priority right now. And I think you should definitely talk to someone, babe. About this and the miscarriage."

She nodded and immediately wished she hadn't. "I will," JJ promised. Then a random thought struck her. "How long is Emily in town for? Do you know?"

Will shrugged. "I'm not sure. You can ask her when she comes back with Henry." He held her hand and gently squeezed it. He was still reeling from the news that his wife had been pregnant again and miscarried, but he'd come to terms with it soon. He was just more worried about her right now and needed JJ to deal with everything. She clearly hadn't healed from the miscarriage – maybe the result of hiding it – but maybe that could happen now. He hoped so.

When Emily, Henry, and Hotch returned, they found out Emily wasn't going to be in town for that long. And that's when JJ made a (rather stupid) decision – she decided to check out of the hospital and go with everyone to celebrate her return and Emily's short trip home.

"Are you sure? You were just tortured," an alarmed Emily pointed out.

"Yes. I'm not going to miss this." JJ waved her husband over. "I need you to help me get ready. Can someone bring me new clothes?"

"I'll get Garcia on it," Hotch promised as he left the room, Henry skipping out with him.

Against the advice of her doctor, JJ did check out of the hospital. Will promised to take care of her and bring her back if something happened. He wasn't about to take any chances with her health. After stopping at home – and leaving Henry with a baby-sitter – the two headed to the bar. JJ stuck close to her husband, unwilling to let go of him (and he was pretty much holding her up anyway since she could barely stand).

"I'm going to miss you, but call me any time you need me, JJ. I mean it." Emily didn't want to lose touch with her best friend.

"I promise I'll call you." JJ let go of Will and hugged her.

"Good. I'm going to miss all of you."

"We'll miss you too," Garcia responded. She smiled, but it turned into a frown when Will had to help JJ sit down in a chair. Her energy levels had bottomed out and it showed.

When Will and JJ got home, Henry was still awake. The baby-sitter had tried to send him to bed, but the little boy had been a little too determined about waiting up for his parents. "Sleep with you," he proclaimed.

"Can you handle that?" Will didn't want their son to accidentally hurt JJ when she was sleeping and make her injuries worse (he was irrationally worried about a lot of things, actually, but he figured he was justified in feeling that way).

JJ shrugged. "If I can't, you can always put him back in his bed. I'll be fine, Will."

"If you're sure." Will picked up Henry and headed to their bedroom. He came back to help JJ get undressed and then re-dressed into pajamas before getting her into bed. He really didn't mind taking care of her, though. That's what he was there for.

"I love you," JJ murmured as the painkiller started to take effect, and her eyes began to close.

"I love you, too, JJ." He beamed at his family.

"Go to sleep," Henry mumbled, and the two of them shook with laughter (although that wasn't the best move for JJ).

"We love you, too, buddy," Will whispered.

It would take JJ a long time to recover from her kidnapping and subsequent torture, but she'd get through it with the help of her family and friends at the BAU. She started going to therapy, and slowly started to heal from the trauma of that and her miscarriage. She and Will cried together for the child they lost and would never get to know, but it was a cathartic experience. She occasionally suffered nightmares about those horrifying hours of her kidnapping and torture, but Will woke her up and comforted her every time. Embarrassed at first, she finally gave up after a few months and admitted she needed some help from those around her.

JJ and Will would eventually start trying for another child – when both of them were ready – and couldn't wait to give Henry a sibling. Hadley Emily LaMontagne joined the family fifteen months after JJ was kidnapped and tortured. And JJ and Emily definitely kept in touch and talked more after what had happened. Needless to say, JJ and Will had also been brought closer together and were happier for it now that everything was out in the open.


End file.
